I Am A Seeker
“I am a seeker”
At the beginning of The Fourth Phase, Travis Rice talks about what it means to be a seeker.
“To seek is not to be content with where one is. To seek is to fantasize that there is more. I am a seeker.”
This resonated with me pretty strongly and it made me realize that this is a burden and gift I also share. In the film it carries a very positive connotation and an air of inspiration. Being a seeker results in chasing your dreams and fulfilling the wildest adventures your imagination can create. Which is absolutely true for Travis. With unbelievable athletic talent and sponsorship to back him, the dude lives a life most can only envy. No doubt this drive to seek has been a dictating factor in his climb to the top of the extreme sports world; as he continues to push the limits of what’s possible on a snowboard. It’s brought him fame, fortune and freedom. His passion is palatable even through a glowing laptop screen - the dude is inspiring.
I am also a seeker. I have never once in my life been satisfied with where I am. Not to say I’ve never been happy where I am, but inevitably after a period of time, my mind begins to wander and my feet get itchy. I start to fantasize of somewhere new. Sometimes this can happen after only a few months. I plan to settle and suddenly the anxiety and craving of difference creeps in. Call it 'The Darker Side of Wanderlust', call it being seeker, call it being adventurous, call it being crazy - whatever the vernacular, it’s haunted and simultaneously pushed my life since I could legally buy a beer.
I’ve hopped around the world for six years chalking up experiences that could fill sixty. Even at home I don’t feel at home. I’m plagued by always peering over the fence into a greener yard. I always think the cure lays on the other side, somewhere to settle, surf, build a business and be content staying in one place. I headed to Vancouver island with this in mind. I planned to settle in for a while, get a good job and save up some money again. I'd surf on the island and stay put for a while as I built Lifestyle Over Luxury.
It’s not even been two months and I’m itching to move. I love it here, I’ve got epic waves, I met an incredible girl, I have a job that lets me run L/L and surf during the day… life is good - no make that great. Without fail though, I have a burning urge to move on. I can’t explain it. This gift or maybe disease, has broken all my relationships, left me in debt more times than I’d like to admit and keeps me from holding onto a job however good it is. I tried to build a company that I could run from the road while I try to satisfy this insatiable desire to be everywhere at once and even that has began to feel too restricting. It’s not a matter of just being content with what you have or where you are, it’s a feeling of panic, an anxiety or an addiction for which you will sacrifice everything to fulfill.
I’m peering over a fence with mountains on the other side and my god they’re intoxicatingly alluring. As I throw one leg over the top, I’m broke, leaving another potentially great relationship behind and heading to somewhere, that after however long, will be the less appealing side of the fence.
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